Triangle Presbyterian Church DivorceCare

The DivorceCare program, as a ministry of Triangle Presbyterian Church, promotes healing from a broken relationship between a husband and a wife. As such, the biblically-centered curriculum is most applicable to those coming from a traditional marriage. Individuals coming from non-traditional relationships may not find the program adequate to meet their needs. If you have questions about the applicability of the program to your situation, please speak with your DivorceCare facilitator.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Week 5 - Facing My Loneliness

After divorce, many people respond to their loneliness in ways that will cause them even deeper pain. This segment explores healthy ways to overcome the loneliness that will inevitably arise during your separation or divorce.

Week 5: Facing My Loneliness

There is no denying the loneliness that comes with separation and divorce. The void left by your husband or wife is real, a painful reminder of the depth of the marriage relationship.

While the loneliness may feel unbearable at times, it can be something that draws you closer to God, to His presence in your life. And when He is living within you, you can find permanent healing from the pain of loneliness.

Again this week, try to find a special time each day to spend reading your Bible. Ask God to guide you as you read.

Day 1 — Does anyone understand how lonely I am?

Until you go through it yourself, the loneliness of divorce is hard to understand. As you look at the verses below, you will begin to see that Jesus experienced painful loneliness while He was on earth. Because He did, He understands how you feel right now.

Read the following verses. How do you think Jesus was feeling during these times?

Matthew 26:47–50

Matthew 26:69–75

Matthew 27:45–46

In the days before Jesus was crucified, it seemed like all of His earthly friends had abandoned Him. After He died, it was necessary for Jesus to be separated even from God for three days to be reunited with His Father at the resurrection. Those three days must represent the deepest loneliness in history.

Read Isaiah 43:2–3. Who is always with you (after you have given Him control of your life)?

Day 2 — The loneliness of unraveled families

The strong bonds of marriage and family relationships make the pain of divorce especially deep. It is difficult for you to deal with the loss of a mate. If you have children, they are hurting from the loss of a parent. As you’ll see from these verses, God cares about people who hurt in this way.

Read Psalm 68:6. Does this verse necessarily refer to remarriage? How else might God set you in a family?

Read Psalm 27:10. Is the Lord’s comfort enough to overcome the loss of a parent or spouse?

If you answered “no” or if you are not sure, why do you feel that way?

Read Psalm 68:5. How might God achieve this in your family?

Why not pray to Him right now, claiming the promise you read in Psalm 68:5?

Day 3 — Filling my void

You might be searching for a new relationship to help eliminate your loneliness. While a new relationship may help for a short time, it will only delay your healing and may add to your pain. The verses below offer suggestions for other ways to overcome your loneliness.

Read James 4:8. What is your responsibility?

What will God do as a result?

Read Psalm 147:3, 6, 11. What happens when you draw near to God?

Read Ephesians 3:16–19. What happens when Christ “dwells in your heart”?

Does Christ dwell in your heart?

If He does not, explain how His absence could be contributing to your loneliness. (verse 19)

Day 4 — But what if He leaves me too?

If you’ve been left by another person, it’s hard to trust any new relationships. You may even be wondering if you can trust God. Psalm 139 is God’s promise that He can be trusted.

Read Psalm 139:1–10. How well does God understand you? (verses 2–4)

Is it possible for you to hide from God or for Him to lose you? (verses 7–10)

What does God do for you? (verse 10)

Day 5 — Loneliness antidote

One way to overcome loneliness is to begin to reach out and help others who are hurting (perhaps even worse than you are!). The Bible says this can have a positive effect on your life.

Read Isaiah 58:7–11. What is your role? (verses 7, 9–10)

What is the effect? (verses 8–11)

Write down names of people you could reach out to and help. Next to the names, write ideas of how you could help them.

A gentle reminder: It’s best at this point to reach out and develop same-sex relationships, even when ministering to others.


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